"ADHD/ASD assessment"

We had a negative experience with CAMHS and specifically, a clinician there. In 2022 the clinician assessed my pre-teen child for ADHD. This appointment was long awaited after a long period of anxiety, dysregulation and distress for my child, with symptoms of inattentive ADHD, that could not be explained by the anxiety disorder they had been dianosed with and was being treated (counselling and medication). 

My child's other relatives had been diagnosed the year prior so we were familiar with the symptoms. They'd been having treatment for anxiety through CAMHS and though we could have sought a referral to Public paediatrician the wait lists are several years so we opted for a service we were already linked to and that was a shorter wait time.  During the appointment the clinician went through a series of very direct questions that were taken from the Conners, which did not capture the nuances of my child's challenges. When my child and I tried to explain some of their behavioural and sensory struggles we were quickly shut down so they could move onto the next question. At one point the clinician also pointed their finger at me with a tut tut about the way were managing to support my child to sleep (after years of trying different strategies which I feel they failed to understand). It was a very invalidating and crushing experience.

We did not necessarily expect a diagnosis but we had no guidance as to what the next step should be after they said my child didn't meet the criteria and we were both crying after the appointment. As a result my child refused to go back to CAMHS for 2 years. We did seek a 2nd opinion with a private Psychiatrist which was not as negative but still felt dismissive of the way ADHD can present in different genders.

This year my child's distress increased to the point where they were not able to go to school at all and risk behaviours increased. We desparately reached out to CAMHS again and though this was a more positive experience I felt like I had to really advocate for my child to receive a sooner appointment even though they were not leaving the house, was having daily suicidal thoughts, self harming, their sensory distress had increased and they were exhausted. We decided to pursue a private paediatrician assessement and last month my child was diagnosed with ADHD (Inattentive) and ASD (Level 2).

This has been very validating for my child and us and now we have a framework to understand and support them. My child has spent years asking why they are different and crazy and they are now slowly building their confidence and mastery. I can't help wondering if we had more support sooner how different things might have been. I would really like to see CAMHS psychiatrists with more experience with ADHD/ASD and how it presents in different genders and for the assessment to be more thorough than a single questionnaire framework. I would also like to see more sensitivity to families who are often burnt out and waiting for months for these appointments.