"Shattered and traumatised"

I was so excited to have my first child at the FBC. I had only heard good things. As a health professional myself, I am a strong advocate for the public health system. Unfortunately, I did not have a good experience.

The list is long but I believe I had a primary midwife who was tired and “over it”. I started having strong contractions and started “pushing” at home - despite this, when called, the midwife told me to “stay at home longer”. This was impossible so we made the decision to head in.

I gave birth after an extremely long drug and gas free labour on the floor. I had my baby at night and was essentially pushed out into the dark carpark with my baby 5 hours later - I couldn’t get my baby in the car seat so essentially held them all the way home.

I hadn’t been able to pass urine and in turn, have bladder damage. I had a large perineal tear that was not sutured which resulted in me being admitted to hospital 6 weeks postpartum (identified at my 6 week check) due to it not healing - I was almost unable to sit down due to pain during this time. I received no breastfeeding support and ended up with mastitis multiple times as my baby had a severe tongue tie and was losing weight due to not feeding. Unfortunately, this led me to exclusively pump every 3 hours for the next 6 months which really took a toll on my sleep and mental health.

I had a student midwife that I don’t believe I would have got through the labour without - she was just fabulous. I was later diagnosed with severe postnatal depression and anxiety which I was medicated for and sought private care. My husband was also later diagnosed with the same.

I felt so unsupported and brushed off. My midwife was available via text for a couple of days but my last text/query went unanswered and I never heard from them again - not even sure I was discharged?! These few months were some of the worst of my life and I will never get those early days with my baby back. We never made formal complaints as we were both so shattered and traumatised. It has only been recently that we have been able to talk about this experience together.