"Lack of compassion during my parent's final days"

My parent was admitted to ICU at Norwest Pvt Hospital in Bella Vista a few months ago due to common influenza and was put on a ventilator. My spouse and I work overseas and as soon as we got this devastating news, we contacted NSW Health and was advised by one of their agents that we could apply for an exemption of the 14-day quarantine mandate for overseas travellers due to compassionate reasons. However, we were advised that we can get the exemption within 72 hours and may need to be in quarantine for a couple of days until the exemption is approved. So, we applied for the exemption before we left for Australia and we arrived in Sydney. As expected, we were taken to the hotel quarantine directly from the airport after waiting for over 3 hours at the airport before the authorities finally organised the buses to transport the passengers to the quarantine hotels. We received a call from NSW Health officer the next day and was advised that they are working on our case and that they needed to get the requirements from the Norwest Pvt Hospital to approve the exemption. We made several follow up calls to NSW Health and we patiently waited for the exemption to be approved. NSW Health called us back late the next day and advised us that they had got the approval from Norwest Pvt Hospital Executive Management to grant us the exemption as long as we met their criteria below:

Complete a COVID-19 test

Enter hospital via Emergency Dept, temperature will be taken and ensure we have the proper PPE gear and will be escorted to the ICU

Wear PPE at all times

No socialicing with family members

Keep social distancing at all times.

We agreed to all of the above and a COVID-19 test was done the following morning and results were expedited by NSW Health which tested negative and we were granted the exemption to visit my parent for 1 hour on the very next day followed by two other days. But we had to return to quarantine until we complete the 14-day protocol. Although it was very disappointing as we were told that we could get full exemption on compassionate grounds prior to leaving overseas, we were only given 1-hour visits. But we accepted this as it's something better than nothing and we get to see my parent the next day.

I felt we adhered to all the conditions and requirements set forth by Norwest Pvt Hospital on our first approved 1-hour visit. We were picked up by a relative, sat in the back seat of the vehicle, entered the hospital via Emergency, temperature taken and ensure PPE and were escorted to the ICU. We maintained social distancing at all times and we could not even hold my parent's hand even though they were reaching out to the two of us. It was very sad but we explained to them our situation and told them we will be back again. We talked to the ICU doctor who told us that my parent‘s condition is not improving and that it’s a matter of days and they were going downhill. We were very upset but we had a lot of faith and we kept our composure and did not believe the Dr at that time.

On our way back to the car with my in-law who was going to drop us back at the quarantine hotel, we had to pass their coffee shop and my in-law went in to get a cup of coffee for themselves, while my spouse and I waited outside of the coffee shop. We bumped into to my parent's treating doctor – whom we have known for many years. My spouse was very happy to see them to check on the status of our parent but we realised that the Dr was not too pleased to see us from their reaction. I believe in their mind, we have just come from a COVID-19 hotspot and highly contagious with the virus whereas we had no symptoms nor any health issues as was tested negative already. They briefly spoke to us while we continued to keep the social distance. We returned back to the quarantine hotel.

On the evening of that day, we received an email from NSW Health cancelling our approved visits which shocked us and took us by surprise as to why, since we had the exemption already approved. We called NSW Health and was advised that the Norwest Pvt Hospital had requested the cancellation of our future visits saying that we did not meet their requirements and that we broke the condition of socialising and that we can only conclude was meeting with the treating doctor. They also mentioned that my parent is not in critical condition anymore and that there is no compassionate reason anymore to permit us to visit the ICU. This is totally incorrect and contradictory to what the ICU doctor said, my parent was deteriorating on a daily basis which was also confirmed by two ICU doctors. We appealed and challenged both NSW Health and Norwest Pvt Hospital but they didn’t take our reasoning as viable since Norwest Pvt Hospital made the decision and restricted our visitation rights which I believe NSW Health adhered. We talked to the treating doctor and found out that it was them who had put a stop to our visits in coming back to the hospital as they were NOT consulted by the hospital executive management when they initially approved our exemption. I guess we were caught up in their internal politics and I felt they overlooked to see the gravity of the patient’s condition and the irony of our devastation staying in a confined hotel room like prisoners while waiting for my parent’s plight, knowing they were deteriorating rapidly and we are unable to see them again which was a horrible experience that I would not wish on anyone ever.

A few days later, I believe my parent was not doing too well, so we called NSW Health and appealed again and also talked to the treating doctor who told us that they will talk to the Executive management at Norwest and get us back to see my parent as they were deteriorating very quickly. Norwest Pvt Hospital approved our visit again based on the similar criteria above. We had to do another COVID-19 test which was done the next morning but unfortunately the results were not expedited and as a result we did not get to visit my parent on that day either. The next morning, we are still waiting for COVID-19 test results and kept calling NSW Health but they could not do anything per the hospital requirements we had to get the COVID-19 test results. We were dressed from morning waiting to rush to the hospital as soon as we got the exemption approval. Unfortunately, that did not happen and we had the most difficult and unbearable situation to see our parent take their last breath in the hospital via Facetime around mid-afternoon that day. Needless to say, this was very traumatic and heart breaking which we do not want to wish upon anyone. It gets even worse, through desperation I called the Norwest Pvt Hospital Interim General Manager, according to their PA they were at a meeting and when I told them the reason for my call, the PA said, they will put me through to the Customer Relations Manager. They did not answer my call, left a message with their PA. To this date, neither have called us back – that’s their customer service which really shows how much they care for their patients and their loved ones.

Now my parent is gone and finally when we got the exemption approval to visit the hospital to pay our last respect to our parent, it was past 8pm. The approval was given with similar conditions and criteria and that if we breached any of them, we were told we will not be able to go to the funeral the next day, and to call NSW Health in the morning the next day, in order get approval to attend my parent’s funeral. I believe it will only be approved if we had met all the criteria set forth by Norwest Pvt Hospital. Where is the compassion even after our loved one is gone? We were given 1 hour – we entered my parent’s room at night time and I felt the head nurse was rude – not a smile on their face nor any empathy for our loss - told us we have 1 hour to pay our last respect to my parent, and around 20 mins before the hour I believe, they knock on the door and told us that the undertakers called and want to come in to take the body on the hour, which later we found out was a lie as we asked the undertaker and they never called the nurse. Another lie from the Norwest Pvt Hospital depriving us of spending that one hour with my parent who is no longer with us. We returned back to the hospital after a very depressing moment in our lives and on our way to the hotel we received a call from the police to check as to where we were and when my spouse said that we were just 10 minutes away from the hotel, I believe they were satisfied. Again, I felt we were treated like criminals in a prison.

In the meantime, one of my relatives had the brilliant idea of contacting the media and discussed our predicament. Someone from one of the news channels called my spouse the night our parent passed away, and advised us that we will get to go to the funeral the next day as they had contacted NSW Media and ensured that we get the exemption. I felt, yes, there is justice in this world after all!

We did not sleep the whole night stuck in a room all by ourselves. We called NSW health at 8 am and we were given the exemption to attend the funeral within 10 minutes of our call. I believe that unless we had exposed our situation to the media, it would have been another battle to get the approval to go to the funeral or we would have missed that too.

I feel it was a very traumatic, disappointing and distraught drama of events in our lives with the entire mishandling of the process in which NSW Health and Norwest Pvt Hospital handled our situation. We re-live this every day now – only I believe if we had the opportunity to visit my parent during their last few days/hours or at least a moment to say our final goodbyes, would have helped us heal and console with the satisfaction that we spent those last few moments with my parent. But I felt NSW health and Norwest Pvt hospital deprived us of this moment which had left us broken and guilty for the rest of our lives as a scar.

We would not wish on anyone to go through this type of disorganised approach to handling the COVID-19 situation with people who I believe have adhered to all requirements and yet put through an ordeal of horrendous trauma while saying giving exemption for compassionate reasons. What is not so compassionate about what we went through, where is the compassion? In my opinion, this is not the real Australia that I know and love. I believe people need to change their behaviours and be more realistic in what they do, not just follow orders and comply with rules. Norwest Pvt Hospital advertises that they treat their patients and all visitors with respect and dignity. After all, they are all meant to be for the people for their own good, not to punish them or make their lives difficult. I believe we live in a society today to improve and make our lives better for all human kind.

In addition to what we were going thru as a family, I felt the doctors at ICU have been very negative from Day 1 as my parent was an older person, I believe they had simply given up on their recovery. My parent was admitted to ICU due to Rhinovirus (common cold) and they recovered from it quickly but within a few days they caught an infection whilst in the ICU. In my opinion, the ICU doctors had given up by then and advised family that my parent will not recover from this infection. I felt they were forcing us to make a decision and not to prolong my parent’s life, while they were breathing on their own and fully conscious, basically requesting us to end our parent’s life. Where is the patient care? I guess Norwest Pvt Hospital is more interested in making money than caring for the patient, in my opinion. Based on our experience, if you are old, don’t bother going to Norwest Pvt Hospital and they don’t treat older patients with tender loving care.