"Mental Health Care"

I was in PAPU (Psychiatric Assessment and Planning Unit) over a weekend and although it was nice and the staff were wonderful my mental health didn't improve at all. I got discharged on a Monday morning and even with their knowledge I was in a dark place. 

My case manager sent me back to emergency later that day.

I was eventually put into IPU (Inpatient Psychiatric Unit), but while some of the staff were great the leading psych/doc I saw I felt was horrible, telling me I need to just learn to deal with the suicidal thoughts and that she didn't understand why I was back in there. The nurse assigned to me at the time I felt also neglected my needs.

After seeing her, it made me feel more suicidal and left having a complete melt down, crying to go, so I could end my life. Even making an attempt in my room's bathroom, the nurse came in and told me to get off the floor in the rudest way possible. Still having a complete breakdown she left.

My roommate returned while I was still balling and was so concerned for me she grabbed one of the OTs (Occupational Therapists) to try help calm me down.

I'm bordering on needing an admission again, it's been a couple of months since I was there. But being someone with BPD (Bipolar Disorder), I believe I  will always be treated badly by hospital staff which makes reaching out for any help impossible.